Designing : Flaws and All

Designing my own knitting patterns is incredibly rewarding. It's wonderful to look at a finished piece and say not only did my hands create that but I also pictured that in my mind, penned that in my sketchbook, drew out the chart and then put it all together with some string and needles.

On the other hand, designing can be incredibly frustrating.  Sometimes you have this beautiful vision in your head for a design and try as you might, your efforts to recreate that just don't seem to measure up.  You know what you want but finding the perfect combo translated into a knitted item is daunting.  There's a lot of trial and error. Many days spent are more in defeat than triumph. As a designer, you have to press on though. For me I sometimes have to lay that design to the side and focus on something else.

On my current design project, I'm being downright stubborn.  I KNOW exactly what I want this hat to look like.  Its not just an ordinary old hat, this one has meaning and a purpose.  I'm designing a hat specifically to honor my husband. In our 15 years of marriage and all my crafting, I've never really made anything for him.  I threw together a set of matching bow ties for him and my son for his 1st birthday party, but it wasn't really for my husband.  This time I want to make something I can be proud of and something that my husband would be happy to wear.  He knows I'm designing this hat for him so the pressure is on a bit more than usual.

I'm the type of person to throw my whole being into the things I make.  I try to use every ounce of my know-how and ability to please the recipient. Perfectionism is both a blessing and a curse.  I have to thank knitting though. It has allowed me to learn that sometimes its ok to let go and let something be imperfect. I'm an imperfect person, with flaws both obvious and hidden.  Showing flaws isn't always a weakness. Sometimes showing those flaws is exactly what someone else may need.  It may be that you, the one showing the flaws, needs to show yourself just how human and ordinary you really are.  The flaws are what connects us all together. Just as in knitting, a flaw may stick out to you, but it may be beautiful to someone else and makes it complete.